There’s a lot of good intention that comes with the “talk to someone!” mantra directed at people who are experiencing suicidal thoughts. But there’s certain specifics about it that some people, specifically people who have never experienced suicidal thoughts, don’t understand.

The act of talking to someone requires you to actually see yourself as deserving of help in the first place. This feeling of uselessness is so deeply ingrained in the majority of suicidal people that talking to someone is basically impossible. You have to actively, consciously choose to take time out of someone’s day in order for them to speak to you. 

This is not acceptable to most of us. But maybe, on the chance you do talk to them, they’re one of those people that actually does want to help. Maybe they don’t mind talking to you when you get like this. But they also might be lying to you. They’re just listening to you because they feel guilty. No matter what they tell you, no matter who they are, there’s always this feeling of doubt that eats away at you until you feel horrible for even bothering them at all.

And maybe you’re someone who experience suicidal thoughts often. So often in fact, that nothing ever comes from them and you’re suicidal more often than not. And you figure hey,

they’re probably tired of hearing the same sob story every week right? Why should I worry them over these thoughts and desires if I probably won’t go through with them anyway?

Except then, people do go through with them. And they end up dead or permanently debilitated or locked up for months in a psych hospital. And that brings us back to the “talk to someone” spiel. But no matter how much you repeat it and bang it into our heads, we’re still convinced it doesn’t matter. That we don’t matter. And any actions that come from our thoughts are just us being brave enough to finally go through with something we’ve contemplated for years.

And then we don’t have to worry about bothering anyone anymore.