being mentally ill + suicidal at a young age (before 18) is. strange, because you grow up with this idea that one day you’ll finally snap, turn off, be brave enough to kill yourself, so you don’t really plan for the future. adulthood- further life, it isn’t for you, nor do you feel included within the future of it. it isn’t.. it isn’t part of your life plan.
and then before you know it you’re 18 and you’re an adult but you never thought you’d get this far and sure it’s great that you’re still alive you guess but also. you feel so alone + lost in a world you never expected or planned to be a part of.
1. When he asks han what he thinks about leia and han’s like i try not to” and luke’s like “good.” then when Han asks luke if he thinks he, Han Solo, might have a chance with leia and he’s immediately like “no.” And doesn’t meet han’s eyes. i guess it could be argued that he says that because he’s got a crush on Leia himself but? he doesn’t lol
2. when han and luke say goodbye to each other in esb and luke starts to say something else but then stops i stggg
3. the whole jedi-training bit where he’s doing flips with yoda on his back and standing on one hand, moving stuff with his mind and shit. straight guys can’t do that
4. when Luke rescues han from jabba the hutt. (a straight guy wouldn’t have done that because then everyone would think he was gay)
Well generally the whole thing is a very brokeback mountainy scene considering the close quarters and the cold, that and Luke is hurt and Han is fussing over him and is genuinely worried about him and affectionately takes care of him. And when they bicker it’s like classic Han caring about someone and not being able to express it.
Some particularly gay and blessed exchanges though:
gaylukes 